Rough Draft
Being a mom has completely and totally shaped me into who I
am as a person today. I had my son Joseph on October 7, 2007. I was 20 years old. I am now 27 and he is
7. The majority of the last 7 years it
has been just him and I. There are a
handful of moments that I can say are the greatest moments in my entire 27
years. Every single one of them has been
in the last 7 and involved Joseph. His
first steps, the first time he called me mommy; which also happened to be his
first words. The first trip to the ER
with him, his first day of school, and his very first student of the month
award. Then there are things that
interest us that we involve our children in and hope they grow to love also.
I have
always loved reading. It is an escape. In times of stress and when I am completely
overwhelmed, it is a way to become another person, with another life and a completely
different set of problems for a while. It
has always been one of my biggest joys, getting a new book, cracking the spine
and smelling the pages. Even better is
an old, used book. The worn in pages
turn so smoothly. The dusty musky paper smell is one of my favorite smells. This has been something I wanted my kids to
enjoy also. To be able to escape into the
pages of Treasure Island, or off into Neverland. To have the ability to step away from the
pages of his book and slip into his own imagination where he can be a Pirate or
a Viking Warrior. Where for a little
while he could be anything he wanted as long as his imagination would
allow. It would be something I could be
extremely proud of, providing my son with the ability to broaden his
imagination and gain a considerable amount of knowledge through literature.
I
started reading to him while he was still in my stomach. Maybe it was just me hoping so, but I was
sure that when I would settle into my big fluffy recliner and kick my feet up
with the warmest, softest blanket, a cup of warm delicious hot chocolate and my
favorite book at the time, he would also instantly settle down inside my
stomach. The rest of the time during my
pregnancy, he was always so active, kicking around and punch at my insides like
a ninja. So during these moments that
were so peaceful and relaxing for me, he also seemed content and calm. Maybe he could also feel how at peace and
happy I was with life when I had my book in hands.
Once he
was born, I read to him every single night. He would sit with me while I read
my books. Then I would read to him. Some of my favorite books, as with most kids I
assume, when I was a child were Dr. Seuss books. For my baby shower, Josephs Grandma on his
fathers side gave us a set of Dr. Seuss books.
They belonged to Joseph’s father when he was a child. They all had his name written in the front
page. They also all had pages missing
and were colored in and worn down by Josephs father when he was a child. To this day, they are some of our most valued
possessions. Hop on Pop quickly became
one of Josephs favorite books. He always
wanted me to read that one or would want to hold it and look through it. Every night we would snuggle up in his bed
with his Toy Story sheets on it and all his stuffed animals as an audience. Sometimes, his hair would still be wet from
his bath, smelling like the blueberry Spongebob shampoo he loved. Other nights we would pile up on the couch,
or in my bed or chair, sometimes on the floor and sometimes in a fort he had
built earlier. Different places, but always
the same book, Hop on Pop.
He
started to pick up the words by memorizing the pages. Sometimes, we would turn a page and he would
say the word on the next page before I could.
I was so thrilled and overjoyed to see him so enthusiastic about
learning words and learning to read.
Sometimes he struggled, one night he would know a whole page of words
and the next night he would forget those and remember a completely different
page. I would get so frustrated because
he would shock me with reading a whole page of words and then forget them the
next day. I would try and remind myself
that he was just barely 4 years old, but I would just get so excited that he
was progressing so quickly with it. That
was pretty darn good for that age. Even
it was just page memorization. With time
he started remembering the pages, one at a time.
This night
in particular stands out. This night is
one of those nights that I mentioned earlier that fits into that small handful
of moments that are the greatest in my life. The kind that show you what you
are meant to do with your life. I was
meant to be Joey’s mom, events like this showed me that to be true. As hard as its been, often so frustrating,
overwhelming and sometimes just too much.
It is still the greatest thing I will ever do. This night, and that handful of others showed
me that. Being his mom has given me more
pride and joy than I have ever felt, an actual sense of purpose.
Joseph
and I were in the big fluffy recliner chair in the living room, all cudled
up. He was sitting in my lap and I had
my arms wrapped around him. He smelled
like that blueberry shampoo, one of my very most favorite smells, but mostly
when its in his hair. He liked to turn
the pages, even if I was reading. So he
was holding the book. I was distracted,
doing that creepy mom thing, staring at his big, beautiful blue eyes. Noticing how many freckles he had gotten that
year from playing outside in the sun so much. They spread across his nose and
up around his eyes. His strawberry
blonde hair stuck straight up in the back of his head from his double cowlick
that could not be controlled no matter how his hair was cut or styled. He
definitely needed a hair cut again too, it was starting to hang over his
ears. While I was looking him over, he
started reading. I stopped looking at him and looked down at what he was reading. He read through the first page on his
own. I was happy, he was so impatient to
get started, just like I was with my books.
He read through the first page flawlessly. I was impressed. I waited for
him to turn the page and look up at me with those big beautiful eyes and tell
me it was my turn to read a page. He turned the page, but did not look up. Instead, he read through the second
page. He made it through two pages
without any trouble or help! This was great! He moved onto the third page, the fourth,
fifth and sixth. Like a breeze, he read
through them all like he had been reading his whole life. With each page his sweet voice became more excited,
stronger and more steady. You could hear
the pride in his voice as he would move onto the next page with success. He was surprising himself too, that he was
able to go through that many pages without help. By this time I had tears in my eyes. I had a huge smile on my face and my voice
and hands were kind of shaking with excitement.
I was so proud. He looked up at me and smiled and looked back down and
continued to read. He read all the way
through the book without any help or stopping.
I thought my heart was going to burst through my chest it was so full of
love and pride for this little boy. He closed
the book, started to bounce up and down excitedly in my lap and said “ I read
the whole thing mom. All by myself. I read
Hop on Pop! Can I please do it again?” How could I say no to that? I would have
let him read it to me over and over again all night to me if he wanted to. So, he then read to me, the whole book
without any help again.
Once he
finished reading it again a second time, he got up and walked around the house
with the biggest, smile. He was so full
of pride in himself. Being able to teach
my son something and seeing him excel at it, something that I enjoy so much
myself gives me so much satisfaction. He
is now in the first grade and just about to surpass a second grade reading and
writing level. Being able to teach him
to read, has been one of the most gratifying experiences and quite possibly one
of the most important things Ive done yet.
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